A Whole Heart
I have a whole heart
it’s been broken before
it’s been broken before
and for a time, was fixed
temporarily with tie-dyed
duct tape, staples and a little
bit of that paste made from flour
and water, glommed together
I kept it protected, wrapped
in cellophane or tin-foil, pretending
it was whole and refusing to hand
it to others for fear that they
might break it
one more time
temporarily with tie-dyed
duct tape, staples and a little
bit of that paste made from flour
and water, glommed together
I kept it protected, wrapped
in cellophane or tin-foil, pretending
it was whole and refusing to hand
it to others for fear that they
might break it
one more time
One day in a dark moment
I unwrapped it, held it in my
Hands beneath a star-studded
Ponderosa scented sky and
Watched as it cracked open
Duct tape worn out, frazzled edges
Staples bent and paste dried to
Granules of dust, I held it
In pieces and cried because
I just knew it was never going
To be whole again –
I unwrapped it, held it in my
Hands beneath a star-studded
Ponderosa scented sky and
Watched as it cracked open
Duct tape worn out, frazzled edges
Staples bent and paste dried to
Granules of dust, I held it
In pieces and cried because
I just knew it was never going
To be whole again –
I know this is the moment when
My heart began its reparation;
Pieces fused together like the
Lost limb of a starfish
For a time it was a green-ware
Sculpture of a whole heart
At risk of shattering, though
I kept it safe, away from the grasping
Hands of others until I brought
It into the desert kiln and let in bake
Baked until the moment I could
Feel the warmth of forgiveness
Illuminating it through the skylight
My heart began its reparation;
Pieces fused together like the
Lost limb of a starfish
For a time it was a green-ware
Sculpture of a whole heart
At risk of shattering, though
I kept it safe, away from the grasping
Hands of others until I brought
It into the desert kiln and let in bake
Baked until the moment I could
Feel the warmth of forgiveness
Illuminating it through the skylight
No longer broken, my heart
Shellacked and buffed
Within the safety of my chest
Practiced loving only those who
Loved me back, for sure –
My children, my parents, my siblings
God, and there’s the One whose
Love was the forge; where
My heart, given back into the hands
Of its Maker was re-forged; made
Strong and reinforced with the
Tears of my experiences
Turned to diamonds
Shellacked and buffed
Within the safety of my chest
Practiced loving only those who
Loved me back, for sure –
My children, my parents, my siblings
God, and there’s the One whose
Love was the forge; where
My heart, given back into the hands
Of its Maker was re-forged; made
Strong and reinforced with the
Tears of my experiences
Turned to diamonds
Now, I know I have a whole heart
Whole enough to give to another
Not in part nor in pieces
Not just enough to keep them in
My pocket waiting for change,
But whole enough to give to those
Who already have it – my children,
My parents, my siblings, God and
The one for whom it waits
A whole heart is big enough
To be given over and over
And over again, without risk
Of growing too thin
Whole enough to give to another
Not in part nor in pieces
Not just enough to keep them in
My pocket waiting for change,
But whole enough to give to those
Who already have it – my children,
My parents, my siblings, God and
The one for whom it waits
A whole heart is big enough
To be given over and over
And over again, without risk
Of growing too thin
And though, in the giving, it might
Be dropped, scuffed, tossed aside
Or even stomped into the ground
A whole heart strengthened by
The fire of its own forge and
Shellacked by the tears of false love
May crack, but will never, ever
Really break again
Be dropped, scuffed, tossed aside
Or even stomped into the ground
A whole heart strengthened by
The fire of its own forge and
Shellacked by the tears of false love
May crack, but will never, ever
Really break again
Delusional, I may think it has been
Shattered; but as soon as I look
Straight on until morning
I will see that my heart is still whole
Shattered; but as soon as I look
Straight on until morning
I will see that my heart is still whole
And it waits, wholeheartedly, for love.
© 11 June 2010 by Suzy Jacobson
NOTE: And a year later, almost to the day, I unexpectedly handed my heart over to my old friend Bill; and on 17 September 2011, we were married!
No comments:
Post a Comment